The Stuff That Stole Christmas
Rachael Benion, 2024
Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot,
But the Parents, who had seen too much, surely did not.
Their homes had been buried with knick-knacks and toys,
With blaring alarms and loud beeping joys.
They scowled at the dolls, at the stacks and the mess.
They sighed at the clutter, the noise, and the stress.
And they growled, “Can’t we stop it? The gifts and the buying?
For the love of all silent nights, at least we could try it!”
For Christmas had changed, oh, how it had morphed!
From moments of wonder to plastic galorephed.
The lights and the batteries, the beeps and the singing,
Enough to make even a Christmas bell-ringer go ringing.
And the gifts stacked so high they could touch the Who-roof,
More piles of toys than even Santa’s spoof.
And just as they knew the situation was dire,
Another box came with “Some Assembly Required!”
Every Parent’s patience grew thinner, you see,
As they eyed the mountain under the family tree.
“Why must it be things?” the Parents would moan.
“Things that beep, things that break, things that ring on their own!”
Then one parent stood up, inspired and bold,
“To break from the wrapping and junk ten-fold!
Instead of more stuff, more mess, and more piles,
Let’s gift them the world, new memories, and smiles!”
So they thought of zoo trips, and museums, and hikes,
Of sledding and skating, of toys they’d like—
Toys not built of plastic but memories shared,
Moments to treasure and hold in their care.
So with that, they began their new Christmas plan,
With a list of experiences, not only Big Man.
A family-wide memory, an adventure a day,
For laughter and joy won’t fade away.
And down in the Whos’ homes, the kids woke to find,
A Christmas less cluttered but merry and kind.
And they cheered, “It’s the best!” as they clutched their small list,
Not one gift to break, or go lost, or be missed.
Why Experiences Beat Stuff (a.k.a. How to Avoid Renting a Dumpster Post-Christmas in Lancaster, PA)
Now that you’ve had a poetic epiphany, let’s talk about why this Christmas, the best thing you can give your kids might just be… a ticket out of the toy avalanche.
Here’s the reality: stuff piles up fast. Just ask me about the year I rented a dumpster the week after Christmas. It was the ultimate “parenting hack”—park it under the playroom window and toss the toys out like a Grinch. You’ll be amazed at how fast kids rediscover every “lost” toy when they think it’s about to disappear forever. (It’s amazing what a little parental theatrics can accomplish!)
The funny part? Out of all those toys, only a few make it into our memories. The remote-controlled car? Long gone. The singing Elsa doll? Batteries removed ages ago. But the times we spent sledding, hiking, or going to a local museum? Those memories last.
Give the Gift of Experiences: Building Memories That Last in Lancaster, PA
Why choose experiences over things? Because our minds hold onto moments, not objects. As thrilling as that beeping, light-up toy might seem, by January, it’s just another item in the clutter pile. But a day at Lancaster Science Factory or a baking class at Zest! Cooking School? Those memories stick, bringing joy long after the season ends.
The Ultimate Guide to Experience Gifts in Lancaster, PA
Ready to give the gift of memories this holiday season? Here’s your go-to guide for some of the best places around Lancaster to make unforgettable memories together:
1. Art & Maker Spaces: Get creative at The Pottery Works in downtown Lancaster, where kids can paint pottery they’ll cherish, or try a family-friendly cooking class at Zest! Cooking School in Lititz. These experiences let kids create something meaningful they’ll remember for years.
2. Trampoline Parks & Indoor Fun: For high-energy kids, Sky Zone Lancaster is a perfect outlet with trampolines, climbing walls, and obstacle courses. It’s a fantastic way to burn off holiday treats while creating family memories.
3. Local Museums & Attractions: Discover the wonders of science and technology at the Lancaster Science Factory, where hands-on exhibits let kids explore everything from physics to engineering. Or step back in time at Landis Valley Village & Farm Museum for a look at Lancaster’s rich cultural history.
4. Escape Rooms & Adventure Experiences: For families with older kids, Escape Room Lancaster offers themed rooms that create a fun, puzzle-filled adventure. It’s a holiday memory packed with teamwork and laughter.
5. Movie Theaters & Live Performances: Treat the family to a live show at The Fulton Theatre or catch a movie at Penn Cinema. Whether it’s the latest holiday film or a classic musical, these outings are enjoyable, memorable, and won’t clutter up the house.
Why Memories Mean More
When it comes to what kids remember, it’s not the pile of gifts under the tree that sticks with them. It’s the laughter, the shared wonder, and the funny stories—like “that time we all got locked in the escape room” or “the time Dad wiped out in the trampoline park.” These experiences grow over time, giving back long after the holidays. And the best part? No storage space required!
So this Christmas, trade in clutter for connection, and toys for experiences. Your kids may not remember the year Elsa’s batteries ran out, but they’ll never forget making cookies together or cheering each other on in a go-kart race.
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Disclaimer: While the opinions, ideas, creative writing, and the bulk of the brilliance are all mine, I confess that I enlist the help of ChatGPT for grammar checks, minor edits, and revisions. Why? Because AI is the friendliest grammarian I know—no red pen, no judgment, just pure, unadulterated love for a well-placed comma. So if you find any rogue semicolons or unnaturally perfect phrasing, you can thank my digital editor for that.
